I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant...

Well, really I did before I'd even missed my period, but I've just always wanted to write that. I don't know if I feel sorry for those women who go into labor thinking it's stomach flu or if I am completely jealous of their blissful oblivion.

My giant belly intimidates Ashley's ponies.

We have a new O'Button baby on the way, set to arrive around Halloween.  I am aiming to improve upon Griffin's 34 week gestation so I want to at least get close enough to my due date to ruin Jake's Birthday by dropping a baby on it.

We found out we're having a girl, which is terrific, since we already have an excellent little boy and I wouldn't want another dude to have to compete with Griffin's badassness. I must admit, though, I am scared that she might have grown a penis since our 20 week ultrasound. You always hear about that story and I don't want that woman to be me, crying at the delivery and insisting they return the light blue baby and come back with a pink, sparkly one. I'd get over it, of course, but there would be tears. And a dresser full of cute hand-me-down girl clothes to contend with.

Griffin is really, really enthusiastic about becoming a Big Brother, but we know he has no idea what he's in for. In fact, none of us do. That's why we're doing it. Griffin has told me he plans to use his pirate sword to protect the baby from Komodo Dragons, rodents of unusual size, mountain lions and Casey Anthony. He also summed up the role of Big Brother, saying it was his job to "help her over the hard parts." He's a little obsessed with my massive belly and frequently wants to kiss it or rub it with lotion. Is that weird or sweet? He also loves to pumice my feet. One day some woman will thank me for him.

I am using my belly to throw shade on a giant Sequoia.

The Comeback Blog

Thankfully I don't neglect my child the way I neglect my blog, otherwise CPS would have taken the boy away years ago. I am having the vague, nagging feeling, however, that I need to update a few things and prepare to do some level of blogging to honor the newest member of the family we anticipate arriving next month. She is currently kicking me in my vital organs, so I think she appreciates the acknowledgment. We will soon have to change the name of the blog to something a little more inclusive since I hear second-borns can get a little miffy about these things.

Griffin is huge, handsome and a wonderful creature, full of love and trouble. By huge, I mean his head is in the 98th percentile and his body is in the 30th, but we expect nothing less around here. Our latest and greatest success has been completing the potty-training decathalon. Our bathrooms all smell like little boy pee, but at least, no more diapers!

Summer 2010: Welcome Bjarek

We got a new family member this summer, a small, feisty, yet incredibly tolerant kitten that Griffin has named "Bjarek." (Bee-ya-rick) It rolled so easily off Griffin's tongue, we could only assume that Bjarek was his best friend, or perhaps his trusty steed, when he was a Norse warrior in a previous life. 

There is a long and convoluted story about how the neighbors up the street sort of gave him to us, only we weren't looking for a kitten to add to the variety of creatures that aren't potty-trained in our house. That said, we couldn't have asked the universe to send us a more appropriate feline to fill the void and act as Griffin's 24/7 playmate.

Bjarek has declared himself Griffin's official sidekick and together they are keeping our neighborhood safe from evil forces. And also Bjarek eats frogs.

Bjarek shows high levels of tolerance for being carted about by small children and he's only inflicted minor flesh wounds on the boy. He also keeps Griffin busy playing in the yard or under the table for at least three 20 minute sessions every day. Jake wants to get Bjarek CPR trained and then we could go to the pub for Happy Hour.

Despite the fact that I've long prided myself on not having picked up any cats aside from my One and Only,  Jezebel, I think Bjarek is a keeper. It's like he read the want ad we didn't post. "Family seeking mellow, outdoor cat to entertain child for several hours a day. No scratchers, biters or yowlers need apply."

Even Jezebel likes tolerates him.

Summer 2010: Gardens Galore

True to form, we've got our gardens going this year. Our neighborhood, Brooktrails, is heavily forested with enormous redwoods and not much sun, so we have two plots at the Willits Community Garden. Only $10 per plot, per year and all the soil and water you need!

Griffin has developed quite the green thumb and I want to get a job as a professional sign painter.




Now if only our freaking tomatoes would ripen! This cool weather we've had has us loaded down with green heirlooms, but I ain't lookin' to fry 50 batches of fried green tomatoes!

Summer 2010: A Retrospective (Part 1)

Time flies. Summer flies. That's just what it does around here. Unless you're just chillin' with the chickens.

Griffin learned to drive standard. An important skill for a well-rounded young man.

Our dear friends, Jenny (Fish) and Ben increased the population of the world by exactly one. Although they increased the population of Tomales, CA, by about 15%! Welcome to the Team, Atticus! May 11th, formerly known as Griffin Creation Day, will henceforth be known as Happy Birthday, Atticus!


The Hoyer-Paradis nuptials were arranged.


And then smoothly carried out, with no sheep escaping into the wedding ceremony.
Griffin and Lilah road in a wagon (with mixed results) but the cuteness factor was always high!


All things considered, it was a lovely event. Full of fruity goodness!




It was a sweet success!

Grand Canyon Trip

It should be obvious by now that we drop off the blogosphere from time to time. Sometimes things are good, sometimes things are bad, mostly we're just busy. Don't take it personally and we'll keep posting when we can.

Ain't life Grand?
Jake spent a lot of time at the edge of various precipices, making me wonder if the stresses of marriage and fatherhood were taking a toll. Then I remembered that Jake's always loved putting himself out on rocks and boulders in a precarious fashion.
The views were beyond imagining.
The most beautiful place I've ever tied my shoes.

Griffin used a bulldozer to increase the vastness of the Grand Canyon.

Tumbleweed and ice cream. Welcome to Jerome!

We just got back from the Grand Canyon. The primary purpose of the trip to was to remember Ronnie and scatter his ashes, but really I just think he wanted us all to take a vacation together and take in some amazing scenery. Jake, Griffin and I flew into Prescott and met up with the O'Rear/Hollis family- Grammy, Kati, Wes, Sue and Garth. We took a day trip to Jerome had the slowest lunch known to man, tasted wine made by the lead singer from TOOL (Merkin Vineyards) and saw a variety of historic brothels.

Griffin mostly enjoyed being the center of attention and was mostly pleasant despite coming down with a gnarly little cold. He powered through it, passed it on to Jake and me and shared a particularly virulent germ with Grammy.

Me: Wow, Griffin, check out the beautiful sunset over the Grand Canyon. You don't see something like that every day.
Griffin: I see an ant! I see two ants!


We had a lovely ceremony for Ronnie and scattered his ashes over a beautiful little stretch of canyon during our hike. He'll have an amazing view and we'll always know where to find him (in our hearts and in the biggest, widest, and most glorious hole in the US.) We were supposed to apply for a permit to scatter ashes, but as you know, we don't need no stinkin' permit.

We love you Pop Pop!

Sh*t My Kid Says 2

"I'm not a scary spaceman anymore. I'm a good boy."

Please ignore the mess. This is what a whole lot of rainy days does to the inside of our home.