Trolling for Santas

This is Griffin's third Christmas but he's not even two yet. We spent our first Christmas in the NICU and last year was crazy hectic, so we've been making up for it this season by taking photos with Santa all the damn time. Apparently you can't throw a rock in Willits during the holiday season without hitting a Santa, AND they give you tons of loot!


Train Santa: Griffin thought Train Santa was a bit weird, but the oatmeal cookie served as an excellent distraction. This Santa gave us a stuffed penguin, a free train ride in an antique train car and a bunch of snacky cakes.


Protect and Serve Santa: This Santa was at the community center in our neighborhood. When we pulled up, we were deep in the woods, it was dark and there were only a few cars in the parking lot. I peeked my head in and saw eight guys in uniforms standing around a roped-off Santa Claus. I'm pretty sure that all branches of local law-enforcement were represented and it was all a little unnerving because we were the only family and child there at the time. Luckily, it wasn't a sting operation and Santa loaded Griffin down with mittens, a hat, three coloring books, crayons, a dinosaur, a wind-up goat and a bag of candy that was immediately thrown away. (It was the cheap stuff.) Wow!


Skinny Santa: Our most recent Santa was a skinny guy in a big suit. I understand that not all Santas have to be naturally fat and jolly, but this guy was built like Frank Sinatra and his padding was lumpy. Skinny Santa is the only one Griffin actually spoke to (he said, "wagon!") and the only one that used their own camera, charged money ($5) and only gave us a candy cane.

We're still hoping to squeeze in a few more before the 25th, but three is a good start. Go big or go home, as they say.

The Magic of Toddlers

People with grown children (or middle schoolers) talk nostalgically about toddlers. It's easy to like them when they don't live in your house. I'm coming to realize that toddlers are little amplifiers, when they're cute they are so sweet it hurts your teeth, when they are bad it is like something out of the Exorcist.


Griffin quickly shifts between acting like a precious little darling and Sid Vicious on heroin and cough syrup. He's going through a major parrot phase and repeats the last words you say, including "icky dog's butt," and "bad horror movie." Earlier today he was carrying his car purposefully down the hall saying "reach things, reach things," and while Jake and I were pondering his mission, he rolls the car over to the kitchen counter, climbs onto it and begins to collect sharp utensils that are no longer out of his reach. He was using the car to "reach things," and like a comic book villain, he monologues all his schemes. Jake and I just need to get better at deciphering his intentions before he gets into trouble.


Toddlers are very polar. Griffin either takes a three hour epic nap or he refuses to sleep at all and then claims I pooped in his bed. (Never happened.) He is either a delight to be around or a punishment that borders on cruel and unusual. Several times a day, Griffin has to go to Time Out for abusing the dog or cat. He's always trying to ride one of them or lay on top of them or violate them in some fashion. Thankfully, the pets forgive him.