Public Service Announcement

Is your cat unable to follow written instructions? Does she struggle to write her name? Well then, it may be that YOUR cat can't read. Before you drown her in the river- WAIT! There is a better way.

Help defeat the scourge of feline illiteracy by providing your cat with a certified Feline Reading Tutor. We can send one to your home RIGHT NOW to help your bad fat cat learn to read.

Your cat CAN read.


Step One: Our certified Feline Reading Tutor will drag the suspected illiterate cat out from under the table.


Step Two: When selecting books for a beginning feline reader, it is important to consider the cat's interests before making your choice. Books about animals are a good bet, as are Garfield and Heathcliff books. Our trained Feline Reading Tutor has many grade-level books about giraffes, squirrels, farm animals and hippopotamuses. (Potami?)


Step Three: After reading with your feline, our handsome feline tutor will leave some books behind for her to read independently, maybe something by Margaret Wise Brown or Maurice Sendak.


Note: Some particularly reluctant feline readers may be extra challenging and can even resort to sleeping in the hall closet. Our certified Feline Reading Tutor will be persistent. VERY persistent.


We have ways of making cats read.