I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant...

Well, really I did before I'd even missed my period, but I've just always wanted to write that. I don't know if I feel sorry for those women who go into labor thinking it's stomach flu or if I am completely jealous of their blissful oblivion.

My giant belly intimidates Ashley's ponies.

We have a new O'Button baby on the way, set to arrive around Halloween.  I am aiming to improve upon Griffin's 34 week gestation so I want to at least get close enough to my due date to ruin Jake's Birthday by dropping a baby on it.

We found out we're having a girl, which is terrific, since we already have an excellent little boy and I wouldn't want another dude to have to compete with Griffin's badassness. I must admit, though, I am scared that she might have grown a penis since our 20 week ultrasound. You always hear about that story and I don't want that woman to be me, crying at the delivery and insisting they return the light blue baby and come back with a pink, sparkly one. I'd get over it, of course, but there would be tears. And a dresser full of cute hand-me-down girl clothes to contend with.

Griffin is really, really enthusiastic about becoming a Big Brother, but we know he has no idea what he's in for. In fact, none of us do. That's why we're doing it. Griffin has told me he plans to use his pirate sword to protect the baby from Komodo Dragons, rodents of unusual size, mountain lions and Casey Anthony. He also summed up the role of Big Brother, saying it was his job to "help her over the hard parts." He's a little obsessed with my massive belly and frequently wants to kiss it or rub it with lotion. Is that weird or sweet? He also loves to pumice my feet. One day some woman will thank me for him.

I am using my belly to throw shade on a giant Sequoia.

The Comeback Blog

Thankfully I don't neglect my child the way I neglect my blog, otherwise CPS would have taken the boy away years ago. I am having the vague, nagging feeling, however, that I need to update a few things and prepare to do some level of blogging to honor the newest member of the family we anticipate arriving next month. She is currently kicking me in my vital organs, so I think she appreciates the acknowledgment. We will soon have to change the name of the blog to something a little more inclusive since I hear second-borns can get a little miffy about these things.

Griffin is huge, handsome and a wonderful creature, full of love and trouble. By huge, I mean his head is in the 98th percentile and his body is in the 30th, but we expect nothing less around here. Our latest and greatest success has been completing the potty-training decathalon. Our bathrooms all smell like little boy pee, but at least, no more diapers!